What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’ve been working on my Ignite your Confidence Campaign and I’m about half way through. I would love to finish it this year, not just because it needs to be finished but because I am on a mission to show women in their 40’s and beyond that we are freaking rockstars!
Why am I so passionate about it?
Because I was that woman in her 40’s.
I was that woman who after being a single mom, then a new wife, then a new mom at 35 and again at 41, who had no idea who she was anymore. I literally was in survival mode all the time. I forgot who I was because I was so busy being for everyone else. I thought that if I was an awesome mom, and an amazing wife and a devoted friend and an attentive daughter that the appreciation that I received from all those people in my life would be enough. Until I realized, it wasn’t. I realized that the more I did, the less I was appreciated. The more I did, the more that it was expected without appreciation. When the appreciation barely became acknowledgement, is when I realized that there was more to me than being a caregiver, a maid, a companion, a butler, a bank, a taxi driver and so many other things.
The Day I Grew A Pair!
My husband called me one day. He asked me after a 10 minute conversation if I could call our doctors office and make an appointment for him. He was very specific in when I could book him in for an appointment and told me he didn’t have time to do it. It was at that moment I grew a pair. I mean after all, I just spent 10 minutes on the phone with him explaining how much I had to do at home, how much work I had to do with marking for my class at Sheridan College, how much editing and social media stuff I had to do, and how I’m running out of hours in the day with our littlest at home. How I had been up at 6am and going to bed at 2am was taking its tole on me. So guess what I did? I gave him the doctors office phone number and said he could call himself. Then I proceeded to tear him a new one. I probably could have explained myself more calmly then I did, but what can I tell you, I’m a mix of Moroccan and Maltese, we have BIG conversations! lol
I Finally Figured It Out!
I finally figured it out. I was tired of getting the short end of the stick. So I stopped doing and started saying no more often. I started taking more me time to go get my nails done or my hair done. I stopped telling myself lies that I would take care of myself after I took care of my family. Do you want to know what happened? They started to do things for themselves. Even the little one. Now she is only 6 years old, but she gets up now on her own, gets ready for school, packages her’s and her brothers lunch and then proceeds to have breakfast all on her own. I realized I was enabling them to not helping themselves which in turn was not helping me. We still have some challenges, but man oh man… I get to do my hair and make up every morning now!
Having the Epiphany!
Realizing about how hard I was working and talking to my other friends who were working just as hard and not being appreciated. This is what took me down this path to Ignites Women’s Confidence. To see that at 40, not only did we show it, but we light it up. That at 40, we all of a sudden are so full of wisdom that our 20 year old counterparts would never understand. 40, 50, and 60 year olds are not like our moms before us. We stopped being everyone’s lap dog and we have begun to realize that being 40 and older is where it is at. It’s where all the fun stuff happens. It’s where we stop giving a crap load of what others think and we start just being who we truly are.
I challenge you to first start saying “NO”, then I challenge you to book a 40 Women Over 40 Session with me. Let me remind you of how incredible you are. How sexy you are and how fabulous you are!